Bug Vanquisher

6 October 2007

World’s Suckiest Mobile

Filed under: Bugz, Fun, Rant vs Vent — Tanveer Badar @ 3:04 AM

So unwittingly, you chose to be ensnared by the TV advertisements..
And bought that shiny new mobile..

Congratulations on buying ‘World’s Suckiest Mobile Phone’, i.e. LG KG-200. It is a raw deal, very rough indeed. A true explanation of ‘not all that glitters is gold’. It has been a month since I bought that awful mobile and not a single day passes when I regret my decision, not that I usually regret anything I do [:)].

Lets begin a journey of the abnormalities in the specimen under observation.

  • To begin, you start the wrong way. Never follow the established conventions of how to unlock your mobile. While every other mobile I have ever used unlocks by the combination [Left soft key] + *, this stain of filth unlocks with [Right soft key] + #.
  • Next best (read beast) thing is that there is no sent message store and drafts folder. Outbox which should only hold the messages which are to be sent or already sent, performs the only function of being a drafts folder, only misnamed to outbox.
  • Sending a message to multiple recipients is a pain in … You have to edit a nasty list of recipients every time to include those people. And for adding insult to injury, that list is only limited to 12 entries, so beware if you need to send an SMS/MMS to more than 12 people, that list will need to be purged of all entries. Similar chaos reigns for two messages which need to be sent to more than 12 people.
  • Even before sending anything, you need to enter text, don’t you? In the next paragraph, you mind will suffer severe damage, be warned!
    The feature we all have come to appreciate when enter text on limited keys than the alphabet of language is called T9 mode. An intelligent text entry system which displays all words that can be formed with the number sequence entered. And allows new words to be entered in the existing dictionary.
    It is the second feature which is missing from my abnormality. Try as one may, there is no way to even add my name to that damned dictionary. And continuing the trend of not following established practices, words that can be formed are cycled with up/down arrow keys instead of *.
  • If you ever customize an SMS template, don’t forget to redo everything after you turn on your phone again. LG thinks better about templates and will not let you meddle with things like: ‘I am sorry’, ‘I love you’ , ‘Happy birthday’ etc.
  • While on the subject of turning off your phone, you will be amazed by the surprising frequency with which this set can turn itself off. Plug the data cable to data transfer, it turns off every time!
  • Disaster spells if you have set a custom wallpaper, which resets to nothing on my set. A colleague also bought the same set and it never happens for him. Weird, even the bugs are non-consistent.
  • Continuing the trend of hideous and tricky, contact book rushes to the front. This phone supports entering Name, Number, Home Number, Company Name, Email Address, Office Number, Fax number and Birthday for a contact. Additionally, you can assign a picture, video, ring tone and a group.
    But soon you will discover a terrible requirement, for these additional pieces of information, the contact must reside in phone memory. Even, a dumb person can say that use the contact’s number stored in SIM memory as key to attach extra information, some sort of lookup table or dictionary.
  • Speaking of attaching picture, video or ring tone to a contact, they too must reside in phone memory instead of SD memory card. It is not able to find anything, anything in SD card even if it is full to bursting point with pictures and audio.
  • When searching contacts, don’t be amazed if two numbers seem to be born on same date or have identical email addresses. Phone automatically saves you the trouble of entering vast pieces of information and incorrectly displays last viewed contact’s information which has not been entered for others.
  • Contacts is full of surprises, say you are editing some contact starting with ‘S’. When you acknowledge all the changes and contacts reappear, they start from ‘A’ and your focus is lost. Please search again.
  • One day you will come to recognize that you were wrong to expect focus staying on the object it was before you edited it. Even editing is not necessary for call register which by default starts in ‘All Calls’. If you ever wander into things like received or dialed numbers to see details and press back, you are actually coming back to ‘All Calls’.
  • Tools, what an enigma! No one needs stop watches anymore because LG stopped building one in their cell phones. If you need a stop watch, go to recording and record some audio, you don’t have to save it. The recording duration is your stop watch, with second granularity.
  • Explain increasement and decreasement to yourself and everyone.
  • Whenever you run ‘A‘ java application and stop it, you prove yourself to be dumb because the phone prompts you with: "? Java application stopped". You moron! How dare you stop it!
  • Pakistan only has Islamabad as its sole city. Nothing else exists, even Karachi where I live. Because, LG thinks so and city setting only has Islamabad.
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3 Comments »

  1. […] string logged today ‘DRAW HEURISTICS FOR T9 DICTIONARY SEARCH’. Must be related to this […]

    Pingback by How T9 Mode Works? « Bug Vanquisher — 11 October 2007 @ 9:49 PM

  2. […] Read the rest of this great post here […]

    Pingback by dictionary » World’s Suckiest Mobile — 15 October 2007 @ 3:12 PM

  3. […] beats the sentence structural mistakes in my LG mobile phone. […]

    Pingback by Behold! « Bug Vanquisher — 29 October 2007 @ 2:33 AM


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