Bilkamism Syndrome :OR: How to Kill a Product

[Edit: Even the genius couldn't catch sarcasm, well perhaps he's sleepy right now.]

[Edit # 2: Correct two typos.]

Symptoms:

1. Oracle locks entire table for a single select. And entire database is unavailable while update/delete happen. You must unplug database server from network for create table to succeed.
2. Create 500 threads in one process to bog down a server, and end up blaming vendor for any resulting slow downs.
3. Get a degree in Physics and end up working as a manager for a software product. :) Isn’t it simply cute?
4. This one’s a bit longer so we’ll have to resort to an analogy. Suppose, a cell phone provider allows you to transfer credit to someone else through some crafted command. Now, there are clearly two types of monetary transactions. One when you recharge your own account, one where someone transfers credit to someone else.
   You must have two different tables for these transaction types because “I” doubt Oracle will handle such loads. When generalizing, each transaction type must reside in its own table. This concept is spliheritence.
5. Requirements. What heavenly entity is that? Why! Just drag up 50 lines of code to get the job done at its face value and everyone is happy.
6. Edge cases are a Microsoft/Sun/Google conspiracy to kill everyone’s productivity. If it happens in 1 out of 10000000…000 cases, it never happened.
7. Change requirements mid project and later on deny everything till the exact communication is reproduced. :D
8. Users are responsible for any race conditions, it is not our duty to insert locks anywhere. Screw you!
9. Every single class must follow singleton pattern. World ends otherwise and we turn into green Martians.
10. For bonus fun, copy live customer data to test systems without overwriting actual pins and other personal customer information.
11. VSS > SVN. Enough said!
12. Why. Now that is the question. Shakespeare’s “To be or not to be” is ancient.  Question everything, even those which are working perfectly and then blame others for their correct functioning. We understand you must appear doing something to justify your existence in the first place. And NO! The answer is NO.
13. log e^x != x

Keep checking here, I’ll post more as I remember them.